He then came and sat on the rug beside us and began to speak of
Mason Remey. Oh, to picture Him as He was then -- no longer the Lord, the King, but the tender Father -- a something eager (if I may use the word) in His manner and tone.
He told me He loved Mason Remey so much and He loved me so much that He wished us to marry. That was the meaning of His message to Mason. He said it would be a perfect union and good for the Cause. Then He asked me how I felt about it.
I answered: "I will gladly fulfil Thy wish."
"But what are your inner feelings?"
"Lord, Thou knowest my inner feelings."
"You love this other man? You love?"
"It is secondary now. My only desire is to fulfil Thy Will. Thou
knowest best. My only desire is to give all I have for Thee -- to
give my dearest. I can do this now. This is my opportunity."
"But, my daughter, My wish is for your happiness. You must be frank with Me about it. The inner feelings cannot be forced. In speaking with you just now I was giving you spiritual commands. This is different; this is material, and, in regard to it, I am not
commanding but suggesting. This union with Mr Remey is merely an idea, a suggestion of Mine."
"Thy suggestions and ideas come from the Infinite Wisdom."
"But -- understand Me -- I wish your happiness."
"I should rather follow Thy wish. I should be happier following Thy
wish than in marrying the man I love."
"Well, is it possible for you to love Mr Remey as you do this other
man?"
"Is it possible, Lord?"
"If it is possible to love Mr Remey equally well, for him to take
the place of the other, then I should be glad." He paused a moment. "But your marrying the other is very good, if you can make him a believer. And you must pray for it. If you see that he has an inclination to become a believer, even before he does so, you can marry him. If you can lead him to the Cause this is very, very good. Am I not a kind Father?" He asked . . . Then came a
flash of what I believe to be perception, and this has comforted
me. My Lord, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Who "saw the end" where I saw "only the beginning" (and in Whose compassionate hands are the lives of all) had, in reality, offered me two choices: first, my own will; then, His Will -- or what appeared to be His Will. Though I played my small part so miserably, at least I chose the Master's Will. When in my extremity I still clung desperately to His Will, He released me from my engagement to Mason Remey. As for "the other man": as I review the whole drama of my connection with his life, ending in tragedy, it is clear that at every crisis, something diviner than fate stood between us. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, had another plan for me. And this, I believe, was His plan from the beginning.
